Nightmares to kill
by sammygirl312
Summary: Shae Robinson is a competent hunter who doesn't like working with others. She's well accustomed to her routine of driving, living in motels, hunting and drinking. But a case she is forced to work with Sam and Dean confronts her to her worse memories. And who will help her when her nightmares come knocking at her door? This is a sequel to "Time to kill", but can be read separately.
1. Chapter 1 - Back in the game

**Chapter one. Back in the game**

The night was dark, but the city was still very much alive. The full moon hung over it, menacing.

That threat wasn't real, though. Not anymore. The werewolf was dead, and now the mood was cheerful in the bar where the hunters had gathered to celebrate a happy end to a few days of hard work.

They were five. Three men and two women. The table around which they sat was next to the entrance, just in case they needed to leave in a hurry. One could never be too careful.

They weren't the only clients, far from it – but they were the loudest, by far.

The first man's name was Joseph Mason. In his mid forties – an old age, for a hunter – he was the quietest one at the table. His strength wasn't the same as ten years earlier, but his experience was a clear advantage on the job. He didn't talk or drink much; however, he watched, with a glint of humor in his green eyes, everything his younger partners did. He wasn't going to stop them from getting drunk; but if they did anything stupid, he intended to later tease them without mercy.

The second man was Hugh Walker. Short, skinny, he was in his early twenties. The youngest in the group. He hadn't been in the business for long, and seemed harmless, with his goofy smile and dirty blonde curls, in terrible need of a haircut, which constantly fell in front of his eyes; but Hugh was actually quite deadly if you put a knife in his hands. He was smart, too, _very_ smart. He would probably live until his thirties, at least.

The last man was huge. He towered over the other hunters, and his frame made him seem capable of smashing them to bits without much of an effort. He was thirty five, his name was John Carpenter. He wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed – but not stupid, though. His rough, gravelly voice was the loudest in the group, as was his contagious laughter.

The two women, in their early thirties, were friends.

The first one was Kira Johnson. Tall, long-legged, she was undeniably pretty. Her long, curly blonde hair flowed down to her hips, her wide eyes made her seem oddly innocent, and everything about her face was adorable, from her full lips to her freckles. Kira was social, fun to be around, and always seemed ready to laugh, make a joke, or lighten up the mood in any other way. She looked so delicate… of course, delicate hunters didn't exist. She had been raised in the life, and was as dangerous as it got.

The other woman was a lot less adorable. Attractive, but in a much darker way. She had a tanned skin, an athletic silhouette; her jet black hair barely fell lower than her chin. Her features were sharp and her eyes were a bright, piercing blue.

Shae Robinson didn't play well with others. Except from the occasional case in Kira's company, she always worked alone. This job had been one of the few exceptions. It was Kira's idea, of course; Shae didn't know or trust any of those hunters, and she had been quite impatient to wrap up the case and leave.

She didn't actually dislike those people, though. After John had already ordered two rounds of shots, she was starting to let herself relax a little. Shae laughed just as loud as the others as they each told a funny story of a ridiculous hunt, or simply an interesting one. Hugh had the most hilarious stories to tell – perhaps the alcohol made them even funnier – and John had the most hilariously loud voice, although he did try to keep it down so that the regular folks wouldn't hear anything suspicious. Joseph stayed mostly silent, so did Shae. However, at some point she did decide to join in, between two laughing fits.

"Hey guys, you know what?" she giggled. "I hunted with the Winchesters once!"

That got everybody's attention, even Joseph's. As for Kira, she chuckled quietly since she'd already heard the whole story quite a few times.

"Seriously?" cried Hugh in an excited voice – he was new to the job, but all through his training, he'd heard stories about the legendary Winchester brothers. "How'd you meet? What kind of case? How long ago?"

Shae cut him off before he could ask any more answers.

"Six months ago. We were investigating the same case, so we figured we'd better work together." She spoke in a friendly, amused yet very calm voice, as if working with the boys had been just as any other job. Which was technically true, but Shae couldn't deny she wasn't going to forget the details of that hunt any time soon; and that fact didn't have much to do with the monster they'd killed. "It was a wendigo. A clean kill, job done in a week or so, almost no casualties."

She drank what little was left in her glass. John ordered a new round. Shae vaguely thought she should leave soon, before the shots scrambled her brains. But she decided that since she wasn't the one paying the bill, she might as well stay a little longer and enjoy herself.

"Is it true that one of them is huge?" asked John.

Shae nodded, and couldn't hold back a smile. "Yeah, Sam's pretty big," she said. "Nowhere near as gigantic as you, though."

John grinned, and she knew that was the information he was hoping for. She rolled her eyes.

Joseph spoke for the first time since they'd started drinking. "We all heard about those Winchester boys. But what are they really like?"

His eyes were lit up with an interest he wasn't even trying to hide. Joseph had been a hunter for a very long time, but never had he worked with a Winchester. That was something he almost regretted.

Shae shrugged, trying very hard to seem indifferent. "Oh, pretty much what you'd expect. Competent, rough, lethal. They're a hell of a good team, those two. They live up to their reputation." She thought for a moment. "Dean's incredibly unpleasant, if you ask me. Then again, he didn't like me, and if one thing's sure, it's that he's really good at being unpleasant with people he doesn't like. Sam…" She cleared her throat and couldn't help a little smile. "Sam's the social one. Smart, too. A nice guy, weirdly enough."

Then Kira started laughing. She received a glare from her friend, and inquisitive looks from the men. When she'd calmed down a little, she rubbed her eyes which had started to water, and chuckled: "Sam sure was social with her! They slept together!" Shae cleared her throat again, but decided she wasn't embarrassed. The reactions of the men were funny to watch; Joseph gaped, Hugh chocked on was he was drinking, and John burst into laughter. Shae was pretty sure she saw other clients staring at the group, but she didn't mind.

Joseph fell silent again. Hugh, once he regained the capacity to talk, started asking a question, but Shae interrupted him with amusement: "Dude, I'm not going to start talking to you about my sex life."

He opened and shut his mouth in silence a couple of times. "Fair enough," he finally said. "No action since then, though?"

Shae shrugged, and Kira laughed again. "Poor man," she declared, "who would come after the great Sam Winchester!"

Jokes fused around the table, John and Hugh shamelessly teased Shae, who replied with humor since she was in no way ashamed or even embarrassed.

The topic of conversation slowly took another direction. Then Hugh whistled appreciatively while watching a girl who was sitting alone, two tables from theirs. She seemed pretty.

"You know what?" decided Hugh. "Let's make a bet."

"Yeah?" smirked John. "Which one?"

"We all need to get the number of one person in here," said Hugh. He was usually shy, but alcohol could work miracles. "And more than a number," he added after a heartbeat, "if possible…"

"That's stupid," commented Shae.

"That seems like fun," decided Kira, earning a betrayed look from her friend.

John, Hugh and Kira got up, and dragged Shae along with them. Joseph gave them a little smile. "That's the point where I get off, kids," he decided. A minute later he was gone, Hugh was already talking to the girl he'd seen and John was headed towards the target he'd just picked. Kira stayed with Shae just a moment longer, time enough to look around the bar. "There," she said, pointing towards a man sitting next to the counter. "Go talk to him."

"Oh, come on…"

Kira didn't let her complain. "Girl, it's been six months. You've got to get back in the game." She squeezed her friend's shoulder, then took off with one last mocking laugh.

At least the guy wasn't bad looking, thought Shae as she sat next to him without asking for permission.

He didn't seem to notice her at first, but she figured she could wait a little. When he looked up from his half-empty glass, he would see her. Shae sighed, wishing she was somewhere else, and called out to the waiter who wasn't busy at the moment: "I'll have what he's having." The waiter nodded, and the guy, hearing her, looked up with a frown. As she met his eyes with a teasing smile, she saw they were a beautiful hazel. It reminded her of someone, and she decided that Kira had picked well. Maybe she would really have fun after all.

"Hi," she said cheerfully.

"Hi," he replied with hesitation.

She let him look at her with scrutinizing eyes while he tried to decide what to do. She looked him over, too. He wasn't dazzling, but he was alright. He had beautiful eyes. Nice hair, too.

As they started talking, she found out he was a couple years younger than her. His name was Tom, and he lived a few streets away from the bar. He was a regular here. He was single. He was a P.E. teacher in a high school not far away.

Tom seemed nice enough, so when he suggested going back to his place, Shae followed him. They were the last ones to leave, the other hunters had been gone for a while.

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The next morning, Shae woke up with a terrible headache. Like every time, she promised herself she would never drink again, knowing perfectly well that, being a hunter, that wouldn't happen.

She quickly took in her surroundings. She was lying naked in a bed, sheets in a mess. Turning her head against the pillow, she saw the man lying next to her. If his loud snores meant anything, he was still very much asleep. Good.

Shae grunted as she slowly sat up. Sunlight streamed through two large windows. This bedroom could be nice, she thought, if it wasn't so terribly messy…

At first she didn't remember how she got here. But she didn't panic, she was used to this. Shae searched her mind, and it all came back to her in pieces. She caught a new glimpse of the man in the bed – Tom, his name was Tom, she remembered now. Shae sighed. She kind of liked him, and the night had been fun, but there was just something wrong in this picture. She shrugged, not wanting to think about it, and got up clumsily.

She kept quiet as she went in search of her clothes, spread out here and there. It didn't take her long. She slipped into them without a noise, keeping a cautious eye on Tom. He didn't move.

Shae stopped for a moment, looking at him, before sneaking away in true hunter fashion. She wondered what would happen if she stayed. She wondered if she wanted to. She wondered if he would want her to. She wondered if she still wanted normal.

But then, she stopped wondering, because she knew normal didn't want her, and she did not want to stay. She liked Tom. But she had no wish to see him again. Men had a tendency to bore her very quickly.

How would Tom react to her sneaky exit? Would he be surprised, would he be upset? Maybe. But it wasn't her problem.

She had a motel room to get back to. The hunters had probably all gone their separate ways by now, except Kira, whom it was likely Shae would find waiting for her.

Shae closed the door to the small house, and walked away in the streets that the late morning sun lit up. Her heels hit the ground in a steady rhythm.

She didn't look back.

…..

 _ **Not much happened in this chapter, but it's just a beginning where I introduce characters, and I hope you guys liked anyway! Team Free Will will step into the story soon, but for now I'm just sticking to Shae. The plot will be better defined in the next chapters; I have a general idea of where the story is headed, but I'm kind of improvising along the way, so feel free to tell me what you'd like to see.**_

 _ **Thank you for taking the time to read! I'll try to update regularly!**_

 _ **Alice**_


	2. Chapter 2 - In the shadows

**Chapter two. In the shadows**

Joseph Mason decided to walk back to the motel, after he left the bar. It was late, and perhaps, for some people, it could be dangerous to be alone in the dark streets, so late into the night – but not for a hunter.

Joseph was in a good mood. He liked walking, and he didn't get a lot of occasions to do it, since he had to move around by car. The evening had been nice, too. Those young hunters, so impulsive, so immature at times. It was easy, for a moment, to forget that they weren't innocent in any way. Once on the job, they were professional, focused… but outside, they could actually be good company.

Not a good influence, though. Joseph was happy to have left when they started their bet. He wasn't sure how that was going to end.

The hunter looked around him and sighed happily. He liked this city, and when it was dark, you could see things daylight didn't show.

This wasn't the best neighborhood. The walls were dirty, the trash cans were threatening to spill what they contained all over the pavement, the shutters tightly closed over the windows were in dire need of maintenance, their paint peeling off… Few people were outside, and those who were, walked quickly with their heads down. A dog was barking in the distance.

Joseph liked those streets, though. It made him nostalgic. He'd grown up in a place like this. A drunk father, a depressed mother, and a reckless little sister… at the time he'd thought his life was a nightmare, and had waited impatiently for a chance to get away. Now, though, when he looked back, he thought of this time as "the good old days". Sure, it hadn't been easy, but Joseph had still grown up in a family – which wasn't perfect, but neither was he, and they had loved him nonetheless. The hunting life was one to which you could get used, with time, but Joseph missed the days when he wasn't alone, when he didn't know about what lurked in the shadows.

But that was then, and Joseph had gotten very good at living in the present. He took pride in having lasted so long. His forty-sixth birthday would be in a few days. No one would know, or be here to celebrate it, but Joseph was thinking of taking a day off. The monsters could wait. He wondered briefly if the young hunters would stick around until then, but already knew they wouldn't.

Joseph started whistling cheerfully. The air was frisky for a summer night, but he didn't mind, it kept him wide awake.

It wasn't until a few minutes later that he stopped walking. He frowned. In his years of hunting, he'd learned to trust his gut, and right now, it was telling him that something was wrong. Joseph looked around him, and didn't see a single living soul.

He turned right, towards a deserted alley. There were absolutely no lights here, and the hunter squinted, trying and failing to see through the darkness. He stepped forward, reaching for the gun he kept well hidden, but always easy to reach.

Something was definitely wrong. As he got closer, a chill ran down his spine. He couldn't put his hands on what was happening, but his years of hunting made him positive that _something_ was hiding in that alley, something which wasn't supposed to be here. Something dangerous.

Joseph stepped into the alley, and suddenly froze, eyes wide. He was certain he heard a voice, a whisper.

 _Joseph…_

One more step, the voice got clearer.

 _Joseph…_

He frowned, his heartbeat sped up. It sounded like a little girl, and he could swear that voice seemed familiar to him. Then, he thought he saw movement, not far ahead of him. He got closer. The darkness closed in around him.

 _Joseph…_

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Shae had no clue of what time it was, when she arrived at their motel. The sun was high in the sky, beating down on the huntress, who was impatient to take a shower and slip into clothes more adapted to the temperature.

Walking towards the room she shared with Kira, Shae looked around the parking lot, and noticed five cars were parked. That meant the whole group was still there. That was strange, but when she gave it a thought, not unlikely – they'd all had a late night, she certainly wasn't the only one who had overslept.

In front of her door, Shae knocked tentatively. She was pretty sure she'd forgotten her keys in Kira's handbag the previous evening. She wasn't a forgetful person, but after all, what was the purpose of alcohol, if not to forget?

She only had to knock once, and the door flew open moments later.

"Well, _there_ you are!" Kira's half-annoyed, half-amused exclamation greeted her.

"Hi," she said plainly.

"Right," sighed the blonde. She stepped aside to let her friend come in.

Shae let out a happy noise at the cool temperature of the room.

"I swear," she grunted, "it's an oven outside!"

"Yeah, I noticed. Why you walked back is beyond me."

Shae glanced at her. "I'm gonna take a shower and change, then, you've got a story to tell."

"So do you," chuckled Kira. "The guys, too, except I'm pretty sure they're still sleeping like babies."

"What time is it anyway?"

"Oh, something like one pm." Shae's eyes widened, and Kira laughed. "Yeah," she said, "I was up at like, nine, I was starting to wonder if you were still alive. Don't you usually get up around six?"

Shae shrugged, grabbed some clothes and got in the bathroom. She stayed under the shower for a long time, much longer than usual, enjoying the sensation of water running over her body. When she got out, she dried up and got dressed quickly. She finally came out, wearing a pair of shorts and a light blue tank top, feeling much, much better. Deep inside, though, she couldn't shake the feeling she'd had since she'd woken up, a feeling that something was missing. She just couldn't figure out what, and it was terribly frustrating…

Someone knocked at their door, and Kira went to open. Hugh was standing behind it.

"Hey there!" A wide smile spread across his lips. He looked both of them over. "I just woke up. Coffee, anyone? I spotted a shop just down the street."

Shae shrugged, Kira grinned. "Absolutely," she said. "Are the others coming?"

Hugh shook his head. "Nah, John's still out cold, and I haven't heard from Joseph – I knocked, I don't think he's in his room. Probably out for a walk or something."

The girls followed him outside.

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A while later, the three of them were sitting on a park bench, under the shade of a tree, each holding a hot cup of coffee in their hands. The girls were listening to Hugh telling his story from the previous night. Well, they actually weren't listening that much at that point – the man was chatty, there was no denying it, and he'd been going on and on for fifteen minutes. The girl's name was Lilly. She was funny, she was beautiful, she was perfect. They'd spent the night at her place, she'd woken up before him and cooked breakfast, and they were planning on meeting again soon. Throughout Hugh's story, Kira and Shae had exchanged looks: first, amused, then surprised, then almost worried. It seemed like the hunter was actually falling for the girl. Shae felt her throat tighten. Hugh really was quite new to the hunting life. Her conscience told her she should open his eyes, tell him to stay away from that girl, break her heart and run, protect her… But seeing him so happy stopped her from opening her mouth. She just couldn't. And, looking at Kira, she guessed the other huntress was having the exact same dilemma. Neither of them said what they were really thinking. Shae decided they could talk to Hugh later. Now was not the time for realism. Now, he could just be happy…

Kira and Shae nodded, smiled or laughed at the right times, and when Hugh finally stopped talking, he turned to the blonde woman.

"So, your turn. What happened?"

She shrugged, but Shae noticed the corner of her lips trembling, biting back a smile.

"Well," she started, "I just sat at the bar alone and waited for someone to show up. Someone showed up in less than a minute."

"What a surprise." Shae rolled her eyes.

"Shut up. So, good-looking guy. Funny. He bought me a couple of drinks, then I let him take me back to his place. We actually just talked for a while. Well, we did other stuff afterwards. Anyways, this morning we woke up around the same time. I stuck around for breakfast, then I let him drive me back to the motel. I warned him I wouldn't be in town for long, he told me to give him a call." She looked at her cup. "I wish I could see him again, he seemed nice enough," she sighed.

"Well, what's stopping you from seeing him again?" asked Hugh.

She stared at him for a moment, her gaze unreadable, then turned towards Shae.

"Your turn, girl!"

"Alright," grunted the brunette. "Nice cute guy. Drinks, his place, a bit of fun, a bit of sleep, I left before he woke up."

Kira sighed and rolled her eyes but said nothing, Hugh waited for a second before crying out: "What, that's it?"

"Yup, pretty much!"

The man's eyes flew from one woman to the other with a look of desperation on his face.

"Damn, you girls are cold."

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Once they got back to the motel, Kira and Shae packed up their stuff in less than five minutes. John had woken up in the meantime, and Joseph still didn't answer his door. They said goodbye to the men and headed towards their cars.

"So," said Kira, "I think I found us a case."

Shae looked at her with scrutinizing eyes.

"Us?"

"Yeah," answered the other huntress. "You up for a little team work?"

Shae hesitated for a moment, her hand on the door handle of her car. "Yeah, sure," she decided. "How far from here?"

"Couple hours."

"Great. I'll be right behind you."

They exchanged a smile, got into their cars and drove away, Kira leading the way.

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Hugh distractedly watched the two cars driving away. When he returned in the motel room, John was shoving the last of his clothes into a bag.

"You found a case?" asked Hugh.

John looked up at him and nodded. "Want to come with me?"

Hugh didn't answer for a moment. He considered his options. He was a hunter, he would have to find some work sooner or later, and he liked working with John. But a part of him just didn't want to leave right away. Maybe it wasn't the wisest choice, but… Lilly was here, and he really liked her, and why not try to make it work?

"No, thanks." He cleared his throat, looked at his feet. "I think I'm just going to stick around for a while."

John looked at him, then shrugged while tossing his bag onto his shoulders. "Alright," he said casually. "I'll see you around, then."

"Yeah."

John left, and Hugh sat on the edge of his bed. He told himself it was a good choice to stay here, to check if Joseph was alright. His car was still in the parking lot, so he couldn't have left town, but then why hadn't they heard from him at all? The last time Hugh had seen him was when he'd left the bar.

The hunter decided he could wait a little more before worrying. If something was wrong, he would look into it. In the meantime…

He took out his cell phone and dialed a number. After just two rings, a cheerful voice answered him:

"Hello?"

Hugh grinned widely. "Hey, Lilly!"

…..

 _ **Hey guys! So, I think the boys will come into the story next chapter. I'm sorry, this story is going a little slowly, but it's going to pick up speed soon, promise! I hope you enjoyed reading, maybe drop a review if you've got time! By the way, thank you to Happygoddess2003 for your review last chapter (I was intending to send things into that direction, just wait and see I guess**_ __ _ **).**_

 _ **Alice**_


	3. Chapter 3 - Fresh eyes

**Chapter three. Fresh eyes**

"Damn it!" Shae cried out in frustration. She threw away the pen she'd been obsessively chewing on for hours, and only distantly heard the noise it made when it hit the wall. "This is driving me nuts!"

Kira was spread out on her bed, nose buried deep in books. "Yeah," she smirked, "I kinda noticed."

Shae got up and started pacing up and down their room, trying to walk off her headache.

For three weeks, they'd been cooped up in this creepy motel room, trying to figure out the case Kira had found. Looking back, Shae wished she'd just gone off on her own. Now, she couldn't just drop the case before it was finished. If only she could, though… if only… But even if her conscience had allowed her too, she knew Kira would kill her for walking away. So there was no escape until the hunters figured it out.

Except that they'd been brainstorming for three weeks now, but the killings had gone on without them getting any closer to the answer. Nothing made sense in this case. They had simply never seen something like that, and it was terribly frustrating to be getting nowhere. Internet had offered no answers so far, neither had the books the girls had gotten their hands on. It was just too strange.

Kira was good at researching, but Shae wasn't. She loved action. She couldn't stand this, and every second, her control on her temper was getting weaker and weaker.

Kira looked up, annoyed by her friend's pacing. "Shae," she said coolly, "walk it off. Go outside, come back in an hour or so."

Shae huffed, but left without a word. She would never admit it, but she was incredibly grateful to the other huntress for letting her breathe some fresh air. She needed it badly. She closed the door roughly behind her, and walked away.

Kira, left alone in the motel room, sighed in relief. God knew she liked Shae, but that temper… the woman had no patience.

The blonde buried herself back in her books. However, she was still incapable of finding anything that even remotely made sense. This case was so weird. She loved solving puzzles, but this one – if she didn't know any better, she would think it was unsolvable. Except that NO case was unsolvable. There was always a monster behind the curtains, she just needed to find it. But even though Kira would never admit it, she was starting to feel a little desperate. She never gave up, but she was starting to wish she could.

The worst part was that she knew something about those deaths were familiar. She knew she had come across this creature before. But she just couldn't remember. It happened to her sometimes, and she hated it. A couple of years back, she had fallen from a window while fighting a nasty ghost. After a while in the hospital, she was back on her feet. But her head had been hurt, and although Kira felt fine, sometimes she forgot things. And she hated it, more than words could cover.

If only she could remember… what her mind had let slip away could be the key to this case, the key to finally putting that god dammed town in her rear-view mirror.

The first victim had been in jail when the thing got to him. The man was a serial killer. He had hanged all his victims, for a long time everybody had thought the deaths were suicide. Then he was caught, and one day, he was found hanged in his cell. The security cameras didn't show anything. The death was a mystery, that was what Kira had spotted in town in the first place.

Then a hunter was found in his home, ripped to shreds by what seemed to be a bear – his favorite prey, according to his friends.

A couple of days later, a woman in her late thirties had died in a car crash. The huntresses heard the deceased had run over a kid a few years earlier, while drunk.

The strange deaths had gone on and on, all ironic in one way or another. The huntresses had been helpless, incapable to stop it. No hex bags, no sulfur, not a single clue to identify the creature. No link between the victims, no link between their deaths except their irony. So, a monster with a sense of humor.

Kira closed her eyes or a moment. This was pointless. She never gave up, and she wouldn't today, but this was pointless. They had investigated every lead they had found. This place, this room, this town was driving them crazy. They needed fresh eyes.

Shae would not like this… It didn't matter. Kira wondered who she could call as backup. Someone with experience, someone who was good at the job, someone who would see what the girls hadn't been able to.

Well, there were always John, Hugh and Joseph. But another thought kept nagging at the back of Kira's mind. What if…? No, Shae would kill her. But Shae wasn't here, couldn't stop her – she had probably stopped at some bar to get drunk and maybe pick up some poor guy. It would almost be a bad joke, but after all, if monsters started developing a sense of humor, why couldn't a hunter do the same? Kira chuckled and got up.

She hurried to the table. Shae had left her handbag on it. Kira shuffled through the mess which reigned inside, and found what she was looking for: her friend's cell phone. The blonde had always thought the woman missed the whole point of a cell phone, since she never took hers with her.

Kira scrolled through the numbers, eyes narrowed slightly, until she found the one she was looking for. She pressed the "call" button with a little mischievous smile. After a few seconds, a male voice answered:

"Hello?"

Kira cleared her throat. "Yeah, is this Sam Winchester?"

"Yes," said the man. "Who is this?"

She didn't hold back her grin. "My name is Kira, Kira Johnson," she answered. "I'm a hunter. Are you and your brother working right now?"

"No, we're looking for a new case. Why?"

"I've got one that's… pretty puzzling. Could use some fresh eyes."

There was a moment of silence.

"Where are you?" he then asked.

She told him, then heard a muffled exchange between Sam and another man, certainly Dean. A moment later, Sam was back on the line.

"We're coming. We're not far from you, we should be there in an hour or so."

"Great. Thanks."

She hung up, and put Shae's phone back where she found it. She was actually kind of excited. Who didn't want to meet the Winchester brothers? They would figure out this case. And, more importantly, Kira was looking forwards to seeing Shae's reaction. Oh, she would be mad, but… something told Kira that this was going to be a lot of fun.

She went back to the bed to read, mostly in case her friend came back.

As it turned out, Shae was still absent when Kira heard a car pull over in front of the motel. She had given Sam the address before hanging up. She got up with a grin as she heard footsteps approaching the door, then opened after someone knocked.

She raised an appreciative eyebrow when she saw the boys.

It wasn't hard to guess which one was who. The ridiculously tall one was Sam, the shorter one was Dean.

Shae had gone on and on about how handsome Sam was. Kira had thought she was exaggerating, but that thought was quite mistaken. It was easy to guess why her friend had been attracted. But Dean wasn't bad, himself. Those boys must have broken quite a few hearts. Kira quickly took in Sam's shiny brown hair, hazel eyes and adorable dimples as he smiled politely; Dean's smirk, large leather jacket, cocky attitude and dirty blonde spiky hair. That guy was a player if she ever saw one. She could already tell Shae had been right: he was not the diplomat in this team.

"Hi," Sam said warmly, extending his hand. Kira took it, returning his smile. As she turned towards Dean, he waved vaguely.

"Yeah," he muttered, "hi. I'm Dean, this is Sammy."

She noticed Sam rolling his eyes, and her smile got bigger. She remembered the way her sister and herself used to constantly tease one another. That was a long time ago. She stepped aside so that the brothers could come in.

Dean had barely gotten inside when he slumped into the nearest chair, immediately throwing his feet up onto the table. Kira bit back a comment, but thought she and him were not going to be best friends. Sam's sigh didn't go unnoticed, either. He was probably used to this.

"So?" Dean called out roughly. "Care to fill us in?"

"Yup – but first, there's something I should tell you."

Sam frowned. "What?"

"There's another hunter working with me here." Dean shrugged. "You met her already… her name is Shae Robinson."

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Shae gulped down another glass, wondering vaguely for how long she had been here and if it wasn't time to head back to the motel. Then, she heard the noise of the stool next to her getting pulled, and she sighed, hoping some random guy wasn't going to hit on her. _Dude, I'm not in the mood…_ She didn't bother to even glance at the person who sat down next to her. Well, until the sound of a familiar voice made her gasp in surprise.

"Shae. Long time no see."

Her eyes were wide when she turned to see Sam. He was casually leaning against the counter. She openly stared at him, gaping.

He seemed relaxed, almost amused, but Shae could guess that was just on the outside. Did she want to know what he was thinking? Probably not.

She thought she should say something, but her mind went blank. He was looking at her, what was she supposed to say?

"What the hell are you doing here?"

It had just slipped out of her mouth. _Oh, great_ , she inwardly sighed with an urge to punch herself. _Smart move, Shae. Very smart. Just be as unpleasant as you possibly can, pick a fight while you're at it…_

Sam didn't seem offended, in fact he didn't seem to care at all. Well, maybe he really didn't care, but Shae was convinced he was just good at hiding his emotions. Usually, so was she.

"Well, aren't you just delighted to see me again?" Sam asked sarcastically.

"Yes," she answered, a little too quickly.

"Huh," he shrugged. "You never called, though."

"Neither did you."

He chuckled. "That's true. In my defense, though, you never did give me your number."

She felt her cheeks turn bright red, and she cleared her throat with embarrassment. Sam took pity on her, and looked away.

"So, what _are_ you doing here?" she asked again, in a slightly more polite way.

"Kira called. Using your phone." He glanced sideways to see her reaction. Shae controlled the surge of anger which was pushing her to punch someone. All she had to do was wait until she was back at the motel, to punch Kira. Who probably knew what was coming. Sam went on: "She called to get fresh eyes on the case you're working on."

"That really wasn't necessary," Shae grumbled through clenched teeth.

"Of course it wasn't." His voice was heavy with sarcasm.

"So Dean's here too?"

"Yup."

"Wonderful."

He chuckled. "Don't worry, you won't need to put up with us for long."

Shae smirked, rolled her eyes. "Sam, we've been stuck here for three weeks."

"Yeah, that's what I heard." Sam grinned. "But _we_ 've figured it out, so you shouldn't be stuck much longer."

Shae gaped at him. "Excuse me?"

"It was easy," said Sam. "You're dealing with a trickster."

She stared at him blankly. "A what?"

Sam smiled at her. "Why don't we head back to the motel? We thought we'd wait until you got back, to explain everything."

Shae didn't hesitate more than an instant. She had no wish to remain alone with Sam, and if the boys really did know what they were dealing with and how to kill it… well, maybe she was finally going to get out of this town. She swore to herself she would never again set foot here.

"Yeah," she sighed. "Let's go. I'm so impatient to see your brother again…"

… **.**

 **Hello there! I'm sorry it took me longer to upload this chapter. I had a bit of a writer's block, I guess, and I'm not sure I'm happy with how the chapter turned out, so let me know what you thought! I hope you liked it, and I'll try to be quicker for the next one! Thanks for reading!**

 **Alice**


	4. Chapter 4 - The shield and the blade

**Chapter four. The shield and the blade**

"You're an idiot, you know that?" growled Dean.

Shae had never found him very civilized, but now, more than ever, the hunter sounded like an angry beast.

"Dude," sighed Sam, "it's just a scratch."

"Well, it could have been more than that!"

Shae hurried past the boys, staring stubbornly at her feet. She hoped they didn't notice her, as she didn't feel capable of facing either of them. Dean's furious, murderous eyes, or Sam's gentle smile.

When she slipped into her motel room, she barely noticed Kira following her. The door was quickly closed, but the women could still hear the sound of the Winchesters' voices just outside. Then the boys got into their own room, and the argument faded away. Shae closed her eyes, enjoying the silence for a moment, trying to put her finger on what she felt, precisely. She failed. The only thing which was there for sure, was the guilt.

"Are you okay?" Kira's slightly worried voice didn't startle Shae, who had felt her friend's stare on her for a while already.

"Yeah," she lied, "of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

She didn't need to turn around and face Kira to know that she was frowning in annoyance.

"Girl, you can't go on like this," growled the blonde. "You need to let someone in, some day."

"Not today," stated Shae.

She stalked off into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She stared at herself in the mirror. She seemed normal, although a little pale.

Such an idiot. She was such an idiot.

The brothers had been right, of course. They were dealing with a trickster. As it turned out, Sam and Dean had done all the work for Kira and Shae; they knew how to find and kill the thing, all the girls had done was follow them.

The worst part was that the trickster had been there the whole time, hiding in plain sight. It turned out to be the mayor. It hadn't been easy to reach him, but they did. It became quite obvious that they had gotten the right guy, when a zombie holding a chainsaw charged towards them with the firm intention of ripping them to shreds.

The fight hadn't been too long. Sam and Shae distracted the trickster while Dean sneaked up on the mayor to kill him. Different things attacked them, each one stranger than the others. But one of them was just a man, a man with a kitchen knife. And when Shae saw him, she just froze. Why? She didn't know. She was used to the bad memories. Sometimes the smallest thing could bring them rushing back into her mind like an angry, overwhelming wave. That's what happened then, and suddenly she just couldn't make herself move. The man grinned an evil grin and dove towards her, moving surprisingly quickly. His knife would've been driven straight into Shae's heart if Sam hadn't come crashing into her, pushing her to the side just in time. The knife didn't kill Shae, it ended in Sam's side instead.

Dean killed the trickster, Sam's injury turned out to be superficial. Which hadn't done anything to calm Dean down, or to make Shae feel less guilty. He could've died because she'd frozen. A hunter didn't freeze, not because of fear, or freaking memories, a hunter kept going and didn't get his partners killed!

Shae took a quick shower, but of course her thoughts weren't washed away. When she left the bathroom, she tried to act casual, but she felt Kira's disapproving stare, heavily focused on her, and soon she just couldn't stay inside with her friend. So she grabbed a jacket and stepped outside, slamming the door behind her. There was a bench just outside of their motel. Shae went to sit there, and did her best not to shiver in the cool air of the night which had fallen a while ago.

She had been alone with her thoughts for a few minutes, when she heard a door open and close behind her, and calm steps headed towards her. Then someone sat down next to her, and a quick glance told her that it was Sam.

She had expected Kira to come, not him, but she kept her composure. If she showed him that she didn't care, maybe he would leave. How was she supposed to focus on anything if he was here? Well, she was absolutely not going to tell him to leave. He could figure it out himself.

It surprised Shae that he didn't say a word. The silence stretched out for a while, but, surprisingly, it wasn't really awkward. From the little that the huntress did know about Sam, it was obvious that he was trying to leave her some space, but to let her know that he was here if she wanted to talk.

He had to be pissed, he just had to, so what was he trying to do, acting so nice? Well, it was probably very simple: he was an actual nice guy. How did someone like that become a hunter? Shae had heard the Winchesters had grown up in this life, but it still surprised her that Sam hadn't found a way to get out. He just didn't seem the type.

"Seem" being the key word here, she reminded herself. _You don't know him._ Shae _did not_ know Sam Winchester. She had barely worked two cases with him, and they had slept together _once_. Well, not much sleeping had been involved. _Once._ It meant nothing, Shae had made sure of that.

For all she knew, kindness was just a mask, with a monster lurking underneath. A man having spent his whole life hunting was barely a man anymore.

Shae reminded herself that it _did not matter_ , who he really was. That she _did not care,_ because she _never_ cared. Their case was closed now, which meant that the brothers would leave the next day, at the latest. She would never call Sam, and she would make sure to never hunt with the Winchesters again. She didn't want to spend any more time with them.

With Sam sitting next to her, a big part of Shae wanted to get away from him, to run as fast as her legs allowed her to, and not stop until she had reached a place where she had no chance to ever see him again.

However, the rest of Shae would rather get stabbed than move. So she remained on the bench, feeling guilty for getting him injured.

"I'm sorry," she said through clenched teeth.

"Don't be," Sam answered softly.

Shae was tempted to look at him, but she obstinately forced herself to keep her eyes fixed ahead. She tried to keep her mouth shut, to make him understand that she didn't want to talk – but the thing was, she _did_ want to talk… not to just anyone, to _him_. As much as it infuriated her, she couldn't help wanting to spend time with him. That was precisely why she needed to get away from Sam Winchester. Because the longer she was around him, the harder it became to leave. Shae didn't even know why, but she didn't like it. She liked no one but Kira. It was the one rule that had allowed her to survive all those years. She could not get attached to anybody, and in the little time she had spent with Sam, she could already see feelings getting nearer to make everything more complicated – she could not let herself fall into that trap. That man was a danger to her. But something about danger was terribly attractive.

Shae would leave. _Tomorrow_ , she promised herself. She just needed a few hours of sleep, then she would be gone.

Why did the idea of never seeing Sam again not comfort her?

She was stuck with him a little longer, so… she could talk to Sam with a clear conscience, since it would be the last time. She couldn't get attached after just one conversation. Right?

"This kind of thing doesn't usually happen to me," she muttered.

"It's alright."

"It's not," she growled. "I screwed up."

Sam's chuckle caught her by surprise.

"Believe me," he said, "as far as screw-ups go, I've done far worse."

Shae forced herself to not ask any questions. It would get her nowhere to be curious. Someone like Sam had probably seen so much he could have a million stories to tell, and something told her the more she heard, the more she would want to hear.

She didn't want to want to hear more. She didn't want to get used to him, she didn't want to make it harder to leave the next day. _Remember you won't see him again._

She did love a good mystery, though. _Don't think about that._

She cleared her throat. "So, Dean patched you up?" she asked awkwardly.

"Nah, did it myself, he was busy being pissed." She finally gave into the temptation, and turned towards him, only to see he had a small smile on his lips. "He thinks I'm an idiot."

"Yeah," chuckled Shae half-heartedly. "I gathered that much."

"He's tired of me always getting in the line of fire."

"Is that a habit of yours?"

"Seems like it."

"And you still haven't gotten killed?"

He didn't answer, and his smile vanished. Shae, again, bit back questions. _Don't you dare get curious. Change the subject._

"He's protective," she pointed out. "A little over-protective, even."

Sam chuckled, and Shae cursed herself for feeling happy that the smile was back on his face. It. Shouldn't. Matter.

"Yes, he is. It took him some time to accept the fact that I had grown up, and that I could actually protect myself."

"Really?" she joked. "Because you do look like a damsel in distress to me."

He laughed, and added: "Well, he's looked out for me his whole life."

"And you look out for him."

"I try to, anyway. It's hard to help someone when they don't want you to."

"Huh. You're not exactly making it easy for him either, are you? I mean, you really could've let me deal with things back there."

She knew immediately that she shouldn't have brought it back up. Well, now she had. Smart as always.

"Dealing? That thing was going to kill you."

"So, what?" The two words had just slipped out of her mouth. She hadn't intended to say out loud any of what bothered her. But she couldn't seem to really control herself, around Sam.

"What do you mean?" He looked confused. Of course he was – Shae confused herself most of the time.

 _Screw this,_ she thought angrily. It was dangerous to talk with him. She could feel her walls getting a little thinner. _I'm leaving tomorrow._ Diplomacy was not an option anymore. She just needed to drive him away. It should be easy, she was used to doing it. With her friends, her one-night-stands, it had become as much of a routine as driving, drinking and sleeping in crappy motel rooms.

"I mean," she growled, "why would you care? I don't mean anything to you, I don't need you, you don't need me, and hunters die every day on the job. There's no point in sacrificing yourself for a stranger!"

Sam stared at her for a few moments, trying to find something to answer. "Shae," he said slowly, calmly, "our _job_ is to sacrifice ourselves for complete strangers."

She thought about it for a moment, and bit back an "it's not the same".

"Besides," he added, "I wouldn't call you a stranger." She frowned and he sighed. "Shae, maybe we're not going to talk about it, but we did have sex. Even if you didn't call me back – by the way, I'm trying to not be offended by that."

Annoyance overwhelmed Shae, and she kept just enough control to make her words as harsh as she could.

"Well, be offended. Or don't be, I don't care. I. Don't. Care. We had sex, do you think it means anything? Do you think I even like you? Well, I don't. You're a hunter, I'm a hunter, and you could die tomorrow for all I care. If you care, you're stupid. You know what? If things had been reversed, back there, I wouldn't have saved you if it meant putting my own life on the line."

Shae waited a few seconds to see if Sam would say anything, but he just gaped at her with a frown over his eyes that expressed nothing but surprise, and… was that hurt? Well, good. If she hurt his feelings, he would leave her alone.

Shae leaned in closer to him, and spat out: "You don't know me, Sam Winchester. Not in the slightest. I don't know you either, and I don't want to." She moved further from him and turned away. "Go back inside. Go anywhere but here, I want to be alone."

She did not even glance at him as he slowly got up and left without a sound.

So, Sam was gone now. Shae was alone. It was what she had wanted from the start. It was what she had always been looking for. Loneliness, peace, quiet. So, that was the part where she was supposed to feel better.

The problem was that… she didn't. She didn't feel better. Not in the slightest. And it wasn't normal. She had never felt guilty when she pushed someone away. She didn't care if she hurt a few people along the road, they would've been hurt anyway if she let them get close to her and she died on the job. But, now… she felt terrible. She had hurt Sam, she knew it. He was certainly used to the feeling, but it didn't help her to know that. It didn't take away the part of her that yearned to find him, take him in her arms and apologize.

Shae stayed on the bench, though – she wouldn't move until she had to.

She thought. Searched her mind for an answer, didn't like those she found. She tried to figure out how she felt about Sam, but she didn't accept the logical conclusions which were laid out in front of her.

But she couldn't deny it forever. She liked Sam. She really did. She liked him a little too much. She didn't really want to leave the next day, even if it was the right call. A part of her wanted to find some kind of pretext to stay with the Winchesters. Maybe Dean wouldn't hate her quite as much if she made a little effort.

There was no point. She had made sure to push Sam away.

It was for the best. With a little time, she would forget the guilt and the way she felt when he was close. Her heart wouldn't speed up whenever he was near, since he would never again be near. Sam would finally be nothing more than what he was supposed to: a good memory. Memories were made to stay buried.

But Shae finally admitted to herself that maybe, with time… she would have probably fallen in love with him. She could definitely fall in love with a man like that. She loved the mystery surrounding those boys, she loved that they were legends come true. She loved that they lived up to their legend.

She loved Sam's wits, she loved his humor. She loved his kindness, and her heart told her that it was not a mask.

But Shae Robinson did not listen to her heart. She listened to her brain. And her brain still told her to get away. No matter what.

The night got darker, and colder, and Shae didn't move from her bench. Her thoughts wandered off, skipping from Sam to other random targets, and the huntress didn't want to go back in her room. Even when she started shivering. Even when she heard Kira go into the boys' room. Even when she heard the voices of the three hunters talking in serious tones. She didn't try to listen to their conversation. She wasn't interested, it was none of her concern. She was leaving the next day.

"Shae!"

Kira's voice sounded normal, but Shae knew her well enough to hear the slight anger hidden underneath.

 _I don't care._

She didn't answer.

"Shae," Kira repeated, "come in here. Now."

That woman did not like being ignored. _I don't care._

"Shae, it's important."

Shae sighed, pondered her choices for a moment, but she knew when Kira was being serious. If it was important, she had to hear her out. So she got up grudgingly, and walked over to her friend, who was standing in front of the open door with her arms on her hips. Shae tried not to peer into the room were the brothers where talking in low voices.

"What?" Shae asked without any effort to make her voice polite.

"I just got a call from Hugh," said Kira.

Shae frowned. That was unexpected, to say the least.

"Why?"

"It's Joseph. He's missing. Hugh thinks that something took him."

…

 **So, there we go! That's probably the point where the real story will begin, and thanks to everybody who's read so far for your patience! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **I'm so sorry I took so long to update. School started again, and real life got in the way… Also, I wish I could promise to update more frequently and regularly in the future, but I really can't. However, I do promise to do my best!**

 **Reviews are very encouraging so if you've got some time, please leave a little one so I know what you think, what you'd like to see or how to improve? And of course, still a big thank you to Happygoddess2003 for your continued support. Also thank you to the followers and to redkwolf for adding my story to your favorites.**

 **Well people, there you go. I'll see you soon (I hope) for another chapter! Peace and love!**

 **Alice**


	5. Chapter 5 - Remorse

_**Hey! So, I'm still alive… But I've taken so long to update this story, I'm so sorry! Real life has been pretty intense and I had to set my priorities straight… so I didn't take the time to write this new chapter. The good news is, I have a two-week-long break right now. So even if it's going to be a little busy, I should have the time to write a few chapters ahead so I can post a little more regularly once my classes start again. Let's hope I actually do it, considering how *reliable* I can be…**_

 _ **Anyways, thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**_

…

 **Chapter five. Remorse**

"Hugh, what's wrong?"

Lilly's gentle voice broke through the strange numbness which had taken over the hunter since he'd hung up the phone. He blinked and looked up, noticing he was still clutching the device in a tight fist.

"Hugh?"

Her widely innocent eyes looked at him with concern. She didn't stand too close to him, probably not sure of how she was supposed to act. After all, even if their relationship was moving fast, she still didn't really know him.

"Nothing's wrong," Hugh said. "Actually…" a wide grin spread over his face. "I just got some really good news."

Relieved, Lilly smiled at him; in two steps, she was close enough to throw her arms around his shoulders.

"What news?"

Her automatic enthusiasm warmed his heart. Hugh wasn't sure of how he'd deserved to meet this wonderful girl. Maybe the dream wouldn't last, but for now, he felt happier than he ever had. He felt ready to give up hunting to build something better for himself, with Lilly. Hunting had become a solution when he'd had nothing else to live for. But now… now, things were changing.

Hugh stayed silent for a few moments, and just admired Lilly. Her beauty was simple, pure. She didn't need expensive dresses. She wore regular jeans and light tee-shirts, and she was perfect that way. She was thin, but not skinny; her round cheeks gave her an adorably childish appearance. Her eyes were something between blue and grey, and they sparkled with youth and humor. Her freckles stood out when she smiled, which happened most of the time. Her chestnut curls were set free most of the time, dancing happily all the way down to her thighs. Lilly spoke of cutting her hair soon, Hugh hoped she wouldn't do it. But really, she could dye it blue or pink, it wouldn't change a thing. She would still be the most beautiful creature the hunter had ever laid his eyes on.

"Hugh, wake up."

He blinked again. She raised her eyebrows, tilted her head to one side.

"Are you going to keep me waiting for much longer?"

"What?"

She rolled her eyes. "That news? What is it?"

He smiled, but a slight tingle of worry came back in his mind. He ignored it.

"I'm going to meet two legends."

She frowned, intrigued.

"They're in the same line of work as me," he added. "I never met them before, but I heard most of the stories about them. They're… the best. Legends. And I'm going to work with them."

They shared a chuckle: his was half-excitement, half-pride, and hers was a little unsure of how to react.

"This mysterious work that you won't tell me anything about," Lilly pointed out.

He nodded. So far he'd found a way around all of her questions, quite smoothly in his opinion. She couldn't know, if Hugh wanted any chance to stay with her. And she needed to be kept at a safe distance from the world of hunting. It was going to be delicate, working a case while living with her. And it was hard to tell what the biggest threat would be: the monsters, or the other hunters. But Hugh had already decided to worry about it later. If things turned out how he wished, this could very well be his last hunt. Then he would find a real job, cut all ties with his old life, and find a way to make things work with Lilly.

"So," she said, "does that mean I'll get to meet some colleagues of yours?"

He hesitated for a moment, then remembered that he had already given Kira Lilly's address. That was quite stupid. But he was staying here, and hadn't really thought things out…

"Yes," he answered slowly, "I guess it does. Actually…" he chuckled nervously. "They're on their way here."

"Oh." She thought for a moment, maybe trying to decide if that was a good or a bad thing. "Well, I suppose that we should get ready for them, then."

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Not for the first time, Shae felt incredibly happy that she had her own car. She remembered the time when she had to rely on other people to move around. She didn't like it at all. She hated being dependant on someone else. Because usually, people didn't hand out favors out of the goodness of their hearts.

Three cars were headed towards the address Hugh had given Kira. The blonde went first. The Winchesters' Impala followed closely behind, right before Shae. The huntress was incredibly grateful she wasn't forced to spend the three-hour drive stuck with one of her "partners". After all, she wasn't really in speaking terms with any of them.

Dean seemed to dislike her even more since she'd gotten Sam in the line of fire. Which was understandable. But Shae didn't intend to try to make things better. He could hate her, for all she cared.

She had been so unpleasant with Kira that her friend had given up on getting her to open up. For now, at least; because sadly, Shae was well aware of how stubborn the blonde could be. But in the little time it had taken the hunters to pack up their clothes and get ready to start their drive, the awkwardness between the girls had been a little too much, even for Shae.

Of course, the worst part was Sam.

There were no words to describe just how frustrated the brunette was to be stuck with him for yet another hunt. If she had known that the previous night, perhaps she would have been less harsh with him. But this wasn't new… Shae had a long history of spectacular mistakes.

Rage, she could deal with. Many people hated her. Sam should, too. Aggressivity, she was used to. She had expected at least some form of hostility on Sam's part. Then, the force of habit would have made it easy to make her growing attachment to him vanish.

But Sam Winchester never made things easy for her.

He hadn't talked to her, except for a clipped "hello" in the morning. Most of the time he seemed to avoid looking at her, but she'd caught him glancing in her direction once in a while. Shae barely resisted the temptation to openly stare at him.

As always, she didn't understand him. His glances weren't full of rage or silent reproaches. Nothing in his attitude indicated any kind of grudge against her. But how could he not be mad? How? Being calm was one thing, but… this was beyond Shae. That man was a mystery. What could she do to make him hate her?

The worst was what she _could_ read in his eyes when she dared to take a peek. A kind of sadness which, terrifyingly, didn't seem out of place on his handsome features. As if he was so used to the feeling that it had become normal to him. But the Sam that Shae had met at first seemed cheerful, a glint of humor present in his every move. The idea that she had hurt him enough to bring that lingering sadness back made her feel beyond terrible. She hated herself. He didn't deserve her unfair words.

Even if Sam wasn't mad at her, she had still wrecked their relationship, if it could even be called that. And it had been her goal, so she should at least be glad to have achieved it. But the most troubling thing was, Shae didn't feel happy about that. If anything, she regretted bitterly destroying whatever trust Sam may have had in her. And she wasn't used to regret. She didn't know what to do with it.

Well, maybe she was just being over-dramatic. After all, words didn't mean that much. Didn't mean anything. Perhaps if she tried to fix things, she would find that they really weren't that broken.

But she wouldn't try to fix things. That was the whole point. Why fix something which didn't have any value?

She would never work with the Winchesters again. Never again, she kept promising herself. It wasn't the first time she had sworn to put those boys in her rear-view mirror… and so far, destiny seemed to have been working against her. But there was only so much bad luck she could have. Surely, things would start going her way soon?

Shae couldn't bail out on this case. This was about finding a fellow hunter. Joseph could be in serious trouble. Hugh hadn't given them the details, but if he had called, it was probably for a good reason. But as soon as it was over, as soon as they found Joseph – or his corpse, thought the cynical part of Shae – she would be gone. For good, this time. Alone. She would stay away from Kira for a while: as much as she appreciated having a friend she had never asked for, she was tired of the blonde trying to find flaws in her walls, trying to decide what was best for her.

Walls were built for a reason.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Those legends you were talking about," Lilly called out, catching Hugh's attention as he had picked up a book about half an hour earlier. "They don't drive a Chevy Impala, by any chance?"

He sat up violently and ran over to the window out of which she was looking into their street. His eyes danced up and down the road eagerly, and sure enough, the car he had heard so much about, framed by two other vehicles the hunter already knew, was headed towards them; the strong purr of its engine could be heard even through the glass. The sun danced off its perfectly shiny black paintwork. When he squinted, Hugh could make out two silhouettes through the windshield.

"Yeah," Hugh breathed. "They do."

He grinned like a boy about to open his Christmas presents, and met Lilly's eyes.

"I'm about to meet Sam and Dean Winchester," he stated stupidly.

For some reason, he'd felt the need to say it out loud.

The cars found enough space to park not far from their house. They weren't in the best neighborhood in town, so the street never was too crowded. It was nice. Really nice. The best Hugh had ever had, so far. Perfect. And now, he was going to hunt with the greatest legends of hunting. And then, he was going to go back to normal. Life was beautiful, when he thought about it.

"So, you said there would be four people?"

Hugh finally stepped away from the window, and followed Lilly out of their bedroom, into the living-room, which was closer to the entrance of the girl's small but cozy house.

"Yes, four," he answered. "Sam and Dean Winchester, Shae Robinson and Kira Johnson. I already worked with Shae and Kira."

They went to sit on the couch in front of the small TV, waiting for the doorbell to ring. Lilly had been quick to clean out the mess which had invaded her place quickly after Hugh's arrival. Even if she didn't know her guests, her principles made it impossible to receive anyone in a messy house. She'd already told Hugh about the hunt her mother held every Sunday, for every single speck of dust in their family home. Those days, her sister and herself had nothing else to do than get out of the way.

Hugh was nervous. When he was nervous, he talked. So he kept talking. It was almost amusing in the end, to tell Lilly the truth without spilling any of the dangerous secrets.

"I found a job here, but I couldn't do it without backup. So I called Shae and Kira, since they're the last… colleagues that I worked with. They're good. And as it turned out, the girls had teamed up with the Winchester brothers, of all people! So they got them to come along. With the Winchesters on our side, we'll have things sorted out in no time."

He paused for a moment, pondering if he should add at least a little warning. Yes, he should. He owed her at least that.

"Lilly… I should probably tell you, they'll probably be… startled at your presence. People in my line of work tend to be… a little hostile, when one of them

Lilly gazed silently at him, her eyes thoughtful. The times when her mischievous smile left her face were so rare that when she opened her mouth, Hugh knew she was about to say something serious.

"Hugh…" She didn't have enough time to get more than one word out; the doorbell rang.

The couple exchanged a look before the hunter jumped to his feet. He kept enough self-control to stop himself from running to the front door. But even so, it didn't take him more than a few seconds to reach it and open it wide, Lilly following closely behind him.

"Hi!" he greeted the hunters with maybe a little bit too much energy.

Then, he actually looked at them.

… **.**

 _ **Well, there you go. I really hope you liked it. Also, I was so impatient to post this that I didn't take much time to read it over and check for mistakes. So please, let me know if you spot any and I'll make sure to correct them!**_

 _ **Thank you so much for the follows, favorites, and your reviews, it means a lot to me!**_

 _ **You guys rock!**_

 _ **Alice**_


	6. Chapter 6 - A hunter's mistake

_**No matter how hard I try, it seems impossible to update regularly… I'm really sorry about that, and I hope you guys will still like to stick with this story. But with such long gaps between updates, I can't expect anyone to remember the previous chapters, so from now on I'll put little reminders at the beginning of my new chapters – also, I**_ **will** _ **still try to update more regularly, but it seems unwise to make any promises…**_

 _ **So a hunter called Joseph has gone missing. Hugh, another hunter, wants to look into his disappearance. However Hugh wants to quit hunting; he now lives with a girl called Lilly, who doesn't know the truth about him. Hugh calls for backup. So now Shae, Kira, Sam and Dean have just arrived at Lilly's house. Hugh has never met the Winchesters, and no one was aware that he wants to settle in with a normal girl.**_

 **Chapter six. A hunter's mistake**

Lilly looked over Hugh's shoulder. The man wasn't that tall, but she was incredibly short.

Curiosity had been eating her up for a while now. Maybe that not knowing much about someone you'd known for barely a month wasn't very strange. But Hugh was obviously hiding a lot from her. And if their relationship was going to become serious, and things seemed to be headed that way, then Lilly needed to know more than a few half-truths.

Maybe she would finally get some answers today. Or at least, have a better idea of what Hugh's life was like. Meeting his colleagues was the best opportunity she could've hoped for.

So Lilly ignored the warning in the back of her mind, forgot the slight fear which sneaked its way around her thoughts, and waited with her boyfriend. If Hugh could be called that. She still hadn't found a way to label what he was to her.

Now Hugh was standing at the open door, greeting their guests with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm, and Lilly tried to get a good look at the people she'd been waiting for with a mixture of angst and hope.

Then she heard a friendly female voice answering her boyfriend.

"Hugh," said the voice. "Still alive, that's comforting."

He let out a little chuckle. "I could say the same for you, Kira. You girls had time to wrap up that case of yours?"

"Yeah," answered the voice. "But we couldn't have done it on our own."

Another woman spoke up, her tone much colder, almost aggressive, briefly sending a chill down Lilly's neck.

"Hugh, this is Dean and Sam Winchester."

Lilly could only see his back, but she noticed the way he froze for a moment, the silence heavy with something the girl couldn't quite put her finger on.

Then Hugh took a step forwards, getting closer to the people still standing in the street. And finally, Lilly got a good look at them.

Her boyfriend walked straight past the two women, to face the men who calmly met his stare.

The girl already felt completely out of place. No one seemed to have noticed her yet, so she openly stared at those famous Winchesters.

She quickly realized she was gaping, and hastily closed her mouth, almost checking for any trace of drool.

She had rarely seen people so tall. Hugh was completely dwarfed by them. The tallest one had to be near seven feet tall. And neither of them seemed the type with whom anyone would try to pick a fight.

She wouldn't have guessed they were brothers. Physically, they were nothing alike. Both terribly handsome, in very different ways. It almost seemed as though they were consciously trying to be opposites. Their haircuts, their clothes, everything about them was different.

But strangely, there was still something similar in the two of them. Their attitude spoke of danger and confidence, of darkness and mystery. The polite gentleness the tallest one wore on his face didn't succeed in hiding it, whereas the other one's defiant hostility showed it off.

"I… It's an honor," Hugh started nervously. "I—I heard a lot about you two."

The tallest one smiled and held out a hand. Hugh shook it gratefully. "Sam, I take it?" he asked.

Sam nodded. Dean shrugged and grunted: "Are we gonna stay here all day?"

"Er— no, come in," Hugh stuttered.

The four strangers didn't hesitate. They strode inside like they owned the place. Lilly finally looked at the two women. A blonde and a brunette, and those two weren't sisters, right? They were just as much opposites as the Winchesters. Lilly thought the blonde was a lot like the tallest brother, with her sweet smile, whereas the other's scowl made her quite similar to Dean.

Those women were both beautiful. What _was_ that job of theirs? Did it require employees who looked like models?

Once Hugh had closed the front door behind them, the guests seemed to notice the girl for the first time. Their stares were full of a surprise, overpowered by a complete lack of trust.

"Who is _she_?" asked Dean dryly. "Another hunter? Don't you think we've got quite the gathering already?"

Hugh shook his head. "Not a hunter. This is Lilly, we're in her house."

A tense silence answered him. He'd warned her that they may not be overjoyed by her presence, but Lilly had certainly not expected such a reaction. Dean frowned as if he didn't understand; the brunette's scowl deepened as she shot Hugh an angry look; as for Sam and the blonde, their eyes widened for an instant, then their faces reflected nothing more than a strange sadness, and some kind of pity directed at Hugh.

"Does she know?" asked the blonde cautiously.

"No."

Lilly hadn't realized it could be possible for the atmosphere to become even tenser. Apparently, it was.

"Hugh—" the blonde started with deadly seriousness.

But she was cut off by Sam. "Well, we should thank you then." His voice was friendly, his lips stretched in a smile, and it took Lilly a little while to realize that he was talking to her.

"We won't bother you for long," he promised.

She couldn't resist returning his smile. "It's no problem, really…"

Everyone noticed the brunette's chuckle, heavy with bitter sarcasm, but everyone ignored it.

"Alright," Hugh said nervously. "Maybe we should talk in private?"

They all nodded, and Lilly understood it was time for her to go for a walk. Usually she definitely wouldn't have done it. This was her house; they weren't going to drive her out of it. But in that moment, she genuinely wanted nothing more than to get away from those people. So Lilly quickly babbled something about going grocery shopping, and left in a hurry.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You have _got_ to be kidding!" Shae angrily cried out, as soon as the front door closed on Lilly's petite silhouette.

Hugh frowned, an innocent and lost look on his face. "What do you mean?"

Shae scoffed, turned towards Kira and repeated bitterly: "He's kidding, right? He's got to be kidding."

"Shae, I don't understand what your problem is," Hugh sighed.

"You don't – he doesn't understand. Well, that's a good one."

She laughed loudly, a sound that meant anything but humor. The other hunters stared at her, Kira and Hugh with anxious frowns, Sam and Dean with curiousness. She didn't care what they thought, but she was counting on them to back her up soon – after all, they were the most experienced hunters in the room, they had to know how terrible Hugh's mistake was. Especially Sam, right? With a big heart like his, he'd probably been dumb enough to make that same mistake. And if he was here today, he must have paid the prize for it.

"Shae," Hugh said calmly, "why are you reacting this way? Is it…" he seemed to think for a moment. "Is it Lilly who bothers you?"

The huntress, with great effort, held back her temper and did not throw her fist in the man's face.

"Wow," she smirked, "you really are a genius, aren't you?"

Hugh's jaw tightened, and he threateningly stepped forwards. Shae did the same thing, and found herself inches from Hugh's face. She would've been glad for having pierced through his stupid calm, if the other hunters in the room hadn't picked that time for waking up from their silent staring.

"Shae!" Kira called out, her voice controlled but coldly furious.

Shae barely glanced at her, hissing: "Care to tell this idiot what the problem is, if he won't piece it together himself?"

"No, actually!" her friend growled.

That got Shae's attention; she turned towards Kira, her gaze incredulous.

"You're not actually gonna take his side on this, are you?"

The blonde narrowed her eyes. "There are no sides, Shae! We're supposed to be a team, and how is Lilly your business?"

A moment of silence was enough to bring Shae's anger to a whole new level.

"How is it my business?"

One look around the sickeningly cozy and _normal_ entrance to the house, one look at the Winchester boys who didn't belong here any more than she did, just a few seconds of calm, and then Shae burst like she hadn't in a while.

"IT'S NONE OF MY FUCKING BUSINESS," she shouted in Hugh's stunned face, "BUT IT SURE AS HELL IS YOURS!"

Before Kira, or anyone else, could make the smallest move to stop her, Shae's knuckles violently connected with Hugh's jaw. Taken aback, he grunted in pain, and stumbled backwards until he roughly bumped into a small table which innocently lay against the nearest wall. The huntress heard startled gasps around her, but she didn't pay any attention to them. She couldn't care less, and she barely made the effort of shaking off Kira's hand on her shoulder, before once more filling the room with her furious words.

"She's going to die, Hugh! You're going to kill her!"

Shae didn't feel the smallest twinge of regret in front of the poor man's shocked expression.

"You're a hunter! You _chose_ this fucked-up life, now deal with your choice!"

"I am—"

"No, you are NOT dealing! A hunter doesn't get a happy ending, dumbass, a hunter fights and kills and dies bloody – a hunter doesn't get out, a hunter doesn't get to fall in love or live a normal life!"

"WHY NOT?" Hugh finally growled back, straitening up.

"BECAUSE THEY CAN'T! You think you're the first newbie to try? You CAN'T!"

Not even trying to steady her quick breaths, she once more shook off Kira's annoying hand.

"No matter what you do," Shae spat, "your story will _still_ end bloody. But if you stay with Lilly, you'll drag her along with you."

She didn't want to see the fear she was putting into Hugh's wide eyes, she didn't want to know if she had hurt him or ruined his hopes – because it did not matter, and after all heartbreak was the fate of every hunter. Hugh was still learning his job, and that was an important lesson. She lifted her arm to hit him again, but her movement was stopped – and not by Kira's hand, this time.

"Shae," a stern voice froze her.

It was Sam. Of course, it was Sam.

"Let me go," she whispered coldly.

But his hold on her arm only tightened, and she had no choice but to lower it. She then turned to face the infuriating obstacle, firmly intending to take her fury out on him if he didn't let her use Hugh as her punching ball – and the look in his hazel eyes stopped her. The determination in them, mixed with a real anger she had never seen directed towards her yet, was enough to find a way into her mind.

"Calm. Down."

Sam didn't raise his voice, but the pure authority in it gave Shae a glimpse into a whole new side of his personality. Just for a second, she was more scared of him than of many of the monsters she'd faced.

In an aggressively frustrated gesture, Shae tore her arms away from Sam's grip.

"I am calm," she mumbled.

Sam raised his eyebrows, tilted his head mockingly, the danger emanating from him barely fading away. "Is that so?"

"I'm calm," she repeated defiantly. "And I'm out of here now."

Shoving her way past the stupidly tall man, she headed towards the door which would lead her to freedom. Coming had been one of her many mistakes. They would all very well manage without her.

"Shae, where are you going?"

She clenched her jaw, and did not dare to glance at Sam this time, in case he might find a way of freezing her with one of his terrifying gazes.

"Anywhere but here. You people want to let Hugh ruin that girl's life? Be my guest. But I'm out of here."

A moment later, she had carried out her project, and slammed the door behind her. She pushed away a twinge of regret at the thought that none of the hunters had tried to stop her – no, at the thought that _Sam_ hadn't tried to stop her.


	7. Chapter 7 - Work to do

**Chapter seven. Work to do**

The four people who remained in Lilly's house exchanged uncertain glances. Hugh didn't pay that much attention to his guests, though. His thoughts were lost, or had followed Shae Robinson out of the door. As much as he hated the idea, she'd undoubtedly managed to get into his head. That woman knew how to hurt someone, how to shake hopes and convictions. What if she was right? Deep down Hugh had always thought what Shae had said out loud, but he had never allowed himself to give any credit to that kind of reasoning. Because if a hunter didn't have much, what did he have left once hope was gone? Nothing. And Hugh could live without much; however, he could not live with nothing.

"Hugh?" someone called out with soft compassion.

The hunter blinked, and met Sam Winchester's worried eyes.

"Yup, I'm fine." He cleared his throat. "Looks like we're one man down, though."

"We don't need her," Dean said coldly.

Hugh noticed Kira staring at her feet, letting her long hair fall in front of her face. He half-expected her to follow Shae outside. They were friends outside of the job, as far as he could tell. But Kira remained standing there, between two living legends, and raised her head with a firm set to her jaw:

"Dean's right," she admitted in a heavy voice. "She's a good hunter, but we won't find Joseph if she starts picking fights."

Maybe, in a slightly different situation, Hugh would've been sad at the loss of a partner. But right now? If he saw Shae again anytime soon, she would get her punch back. He was not a hot-tempered man, not usually at least. But she deserved that punch back. So, when he thought about it for a moment, he decided he was glad she had left. That woman would not be of any use to Joseph if she tore the team apart from the inside.

And they had the Winchester brothers with them. As that information finally sunk in, Hugh's usual grin returned on his face. Why would they need one regular hunter when they had real legends on their side?

Hugh straightened up the table behind him, which he had slightly pushed aside when Shae had sent him tumbling into it, then said in a cheerful tone: "We should probably get started, then. Care to follow me, ladies and gentlemen?"

They all nodded; Sam with a smile, Dean with caution and Kira with distraction. Hugh led the way into the living-room, through the place which was now his home, whether Shae Robinson liked it or not.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shae angrily checked her watch. _Damn it._ It was barely 7 p.m. Perhaps a little too early to get drunk.

She had no idea of for how long she'd been walking, now. Every street, every door, every dog poop lying on the pavement looked the same to her. Her quick and nervous steps had inevitably led her to a bar, though. That was destiny, telling her what to do next.

In bright green letters, the word "HAVEN" was clumsily painted above the old door of the shabby-looking bar. This was typically her kind of place. A refuge, an endless supply of cheap booze for when the monsters in the back of her mind, in every corner of her life, made forgetting the best option. Forgetting. Passing out in her car, flushing vomit down the closest toilets… that was as close to happiness as Shae ever got – as any hunter could get. Why didn't Hugh get it? He would get torn to pieces if he let his guard down. That girlfriend of his wouldn't last a day in the real world. Shae hated her with a devastating intensity – the same hate she instinctively felt for every man and woman who lived in their blissful, ignorant routine, blind to the things which hid in the corners.

Shae closed her eyes for a few seconds, and focused on chasing away every thought of Hugh and his girl, of Kira and her annoying conscience, of Dean and Dumb Giant. They didn't exist anymore, if she decided it. They were _finally_ out of her life. Because Shae was definitely _not_ going back to that house. They would find Joseph without her. They had the Winchesters. With a reputation like theirs, surely they could handle one little case. Hunters vanished all the time. Nothing unusual here.

Yes, they were finally out of her life. Shae was free again. Thinking about what had happened, or what would soon happen, was not going to get her anywhere. Her quick jog throughout the city had lightened her mood, just a little – why darken it again?

"HAVEN". The word mockingly stared back at her, daring her to come in. Shae did just that, with a smirk on her lips darkened by lipstick.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sam settled down on the sofa, Kira silently finding her place next to him. They exchanged a friendly but sad smile. He knew they were the only ones actually bothered by Shae's abrupt departure. The only two who would've liked to see her stay. As their eyes met, the beautiful blonde didn't try to mask a glint of worry, which Sam noticed and shared.

He had seen enough in his life to know when a hunter spoke from personal experience. Shae was so hell-bent on pushing him away, he could only respect her wishes, even if it hurt – but he still cared, as much as she seemed to hate that idea. He would have to talk to Kira, later, and find out if he could help in any way.

But what was the point, anyway? Sam wasn't one to give up easily, but he had also learned that he couldn't do much for someone who didn't want to be saved. What would come out of it? More harm than good.

He liked Shae more than he cared to admit, but what did it matter? If the feelings were not reciprocated and she didn't want him in her life, what she did from now on was none of his business. And after all, as she'd said herself, hunters didn't get love stories or happy endings. That lesson, Sam had learned long ago.

He still had hope, though. In many ways, a part of him identified to Hugh, even though they had just met. He truly hoped the case would be wrapped up soon, and that his young colleague would get his happy ending, against all odds. After all this time, Sam still hadn't given up on optimism. Shae had, though, from the looks of it.

 _No._ Comparing her to Dean would not help him forget her.

"You guys want anything to drink?" Hugh asked.

Sam noticed his nervous smile, and was fully aware the younger hunter was intimidated. It wouldn't last long, surely – legends became human, once you met them.

"You got beer?"

Dean grinned innocently and slumped down in a chair next to his brother. Hugh nodded quickly.

"Beer, everyone?"

"Nothing, thanks," Sam and Kira said at the same time.

The elder Winchester blinked at them in surprise, and Hugh left the room. Dean narrowed his eyes and, leaning forwards, purposefully stepped on his brother's foot.

"Lighten up a little, bitch!"

"Jerk." Sam chuckled in front of Kira's surprise. She'd soon get used to their bickering.

While waiting for Hugh to come back, he looked around the room with undeniable interest.

They had been led up a small flight of stairs into Lilly's living-room. Sam liked her style. This place was cozy, felt like home. The walls were painted white, so that every ray of sunlight finding its way through the curtains lit up the place. A large television sat, gathering dust, next to a shiny new DVD player, in front of the ridiculously comfortable sofa Sam and Kira were now sitting in. Two other chairs framed it; all of that gathered in front of a low table the hunter could easily imagine holding pop-corn for a warm movie evening. Distractedly, he wondered when was the last time he'd sat down somewhere comfortable, to relax in front of a good movie. Actually, had he _ever_ done that? _Yes. At Stanford._ As soon as that thought surfaced, Sam shoved it away, with an ease brought by the force of habit. Then, he carried on his inspection of the room.

Behind him was spread out a thick rug, on top of which a large table surrounded by wooden chairs used up most of the space. Were all those chairs ever filled at the same time? Did Lilly have guests often? It was amusing, what questions ran through Sam's mind every time he stepped into the home of someone normal.

"There you go," Hugh called out enthusiastically, walking back in the room with two opened bottles of beer.

He handed one to Dean, and took a gulp out of the other one. Settling down, he then started talking.

"So, after we killed the werewolf and went our separate ways, I stayed at the same motel a little longer. I was waiting for news from Joseph." Hugh shrugged. "He never called, never opened his door, and never came back for his car, though. So after a few days, I figured something was wrong, and I started digging around." He took another sip of his beer. "Since the bar is the last place we all saw him, I traced back his itinerary, knocked on a few doors, tried to figure out where something went wrong." He sighed. "I found no witnesses, no cams to hack, nothing. In the middle of the night, there was basically nobody on the streets as far as I can tell. According to the people I talked to, there were no flickering lights, or strange smells, or cold spots – in most of the neighborhood, anyways. However, there's this one place I found where something is definitely off." He grinned. "In one alley, the power went out. And there, the neighbors did feel a drop in temperature. Better: a kid's room led right into the alley. His window was open. You know what the kid told me? He heard voices that night. He said he heard a man talking, alone, and then screams."

Hugh leaned back in his chair, drank some more. Sam and Dean exchanged a glance.

"Ok," the older brother sighed. "What else you got?"

"Nothing," Hugh admitted. "Even there, no flickering lights, no sulfur, no EMF – so not a ghost, not a demon. And I got no witnesses, except from the kid. Something's up, but I got no clue what. That's why I called for backup."

Sam started searching his mind for a similar case he might have worked. Kira, apparently doing the same, scrunched her nose up in frustration. Dean washed a hand over his face:

"Well," he grunted, "looks like we've got work to do."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Throwing her head backwards, Shae gulped down another shot.

"Way to go, girl!" Brady laughed loudly.

Or was it Andrew? Shae rubbed at her eyes. She'd forgotten her name as soon as he'd told her. She brushed a strand of her dark hair away from her tanned face. The guy's name didn't matter. He was the one buying the drinks, so he was useful, if nothing else.

"Another one?" he slurred.

She nodded enthusiastically. The room swirled at little in front of her eyes. Maybe that had something to do with the alcohol running through her blood. Shae grinned happily at Andrew – or Brady, who gave a damn – and swung a long arm around his shoulder. Their stools were already pulled so close to one another they touched. The huntress hadn't looked at her watch for a long time, who cared for how long she'd been drinking? The point was that she'd succeeded in forgetting – forgetting what? She frowned. She was sure there was something she'd wanted to get out of her mind. Or someone, maybe. But focusing on anything was pretty hard, at that point.

Shae's smile widened when a large hand landed on her hips. What's-his-name bent down and clumsily kissed her. The woman played along, and was drunk enough to almost enjoy it. When two new glasses arrived, their lips drifted apart to find a more familiar comfort.

Kira had told her to get back in the game, right? Well, she was now. She'd stayed away from random one-night-stands for much too long, and she knew it was because of Sam. Well, _no more._ She'd be damned if she let herself get stuck on him. _Damn it._ He was what she'd wanted to forget.

Shae emptied her glass and searched for Brady's – Andrew's? – lips once more. Last time she'd done this, the guy had been much more attractive, and had actually seemed to know what he was doing – but she could work with that, too.

Right, the previous guy… hadn't she actually liked him? Unlikely. She liked nobody. What had _his_ name been, though? Wasn't it Tom? Had he tried to call her, since then? No. Oh, right, she hadn't given him her real number. Well, he should be happy anyways. She actually remembered what he was called – that was better than what that Brady guy would get.

"I think we've had enough glasses like that," What's-his-name mumbled against her lips.

"I think you're right."

"Wanna head home?" he asked in a drunken voice.

 _I don't have a home._

"Yeah, sure," she answered with perfectly faked joy.

Sliding out of his stool, her night's distraction grabbed her hand; she let him lead her out of "HAVEN". Shae definitely did not wish she was with someone else.

…

 _ **Alright, so I didn't put in a reminder this time – for once I didn't wait for two months before updating.**_

 _ **Please let me know what you think!**_


	8. Chapter 8 - Too much talking

**Chapter eight. Too much talking**

Lilly automatically awoke just before sunrise. A habit her mother had ingrained in her, ever since she was born. Her sister Jenny had never really gotten the hang of it, though, and as far as Lilly knew, the elder Thornwood girl had found a way to keep her routine of falling asleep past midnight, and waking up past midday. That thought brought Lilly to the conclusion that she should really call her sister, one of these days. Maybe Jenny could come pay her a visit, meet Hugh… Where would she sleep, though? Every inch of space was used, for the time being…

… which steered Lilly's awakening mind into a very different direction.

Hugh's "colleagues" were staying here for a while. No one knew how long – the time it took for them to finish their work here, probably. Lilly prayed that wouldn't be too long. How had Hugh talked her into letting them stay at her place? Right – she'd offered. She did the most stupid things for him, without thinking.

She couldn't feel anything more than a slight annoyance, though. Hugh's arm was wrapped around her waist right now. He was still asleep – and peacefully, for once, it seemed. No nightmares had made him jump out of bed, tonight, and that made Lilly smile. He had a lot of those nightmares, she wondered if it had something to do with this mysterious job of his. Anyhow, maybe it was just her imagination, but she was almost certain he had less and less of them since he'd moved in.

His chest was tightly pressed to her back, rising and falling at a regular rythm; the warmth of his body made her feel more at home than she'd ever had before meeting him.

He would tell her his story, Lilly tried to persuade herself. The day he trusted her enough, the day he felt ready… he would tell her, and she would finally understand. And she wouldn't be scared. No, she wouldn't. Who knew? Maybe this, whatever it was, could become truly serious. She had to make sure she didn't spoil things.

The first step to accepting whatever Hugh's life was like, was to accept his "guests". Of course, Lilly was thrilled to meet them – had been, at least. But it was quite obvious that this feeling was in no way reciprocated. She'd only crossed paths with them very briefly, and in that short period of time, had only been able to get a first opinion on two of Hugh's "colleagues". The very tall, handsome man – Sam, right? – had seemed nice enough. Or at the very least, inclined to make a diplomatic effort. But the dark brunette… that one, Lilly was a lot less optimistic about. Yes, dark – that was the only word she could think of to describe that woman. She barely remembered what she looked like – beautiful, tanned skin and eyes who spoke of murder. That one, in less than a minute, had managed to make Lilly feel as if her life was truly in danger. That woman had obviously hated her instantly, but… why? Maybe there was some kind of history between Hugh and her? Lilly doubted that, though. Wouldn't he have told her? Oh, right – he hadn't told her anything. Anything clear, anyway. Half-truths were a beginning.

Hugh shifted slightly in his sleep. Lilly, her every movement filled with caution, slowly lifted his arm off of her body, and moved away from him. She silently got up, and stretched with a controlled yawn. She let herself stare at the sleeping figure tangled in the messed-up sheets, with undeniable affection. Whoever that man was, he sure knew how to make himself adorable.

Lilly needed some fresh air to wake up fully. Who knew what this day would bring; she may need all of her energy with such guests at home.

A little walk around the block could be enough. But she wasn't leaving the house in her pajamas, no matter how comfortable those were. A glance through her wardrobe was enough to select the first pair of shorts, the first light t-shirt she could get her hands on. One minute later, she was softly closing the door to their bedroom behind her.

While making her way through the small house, Lilly remained as silent as she could. She couldn't help the occasional squeaking of the old floorboards, but she had no wish of waking up anyone.

She actually had no idea of where their "guests" had set up camp. After their awkward first encounter, she hadn't crossed paths with any of them again. When she'd come home after a pleasant afternoon in the company of a friend, it was sometime after seven p.m.; Hugh was the only one home. He had told her the others would be back, that they were out, "working".

They'd probably come back sometime during the night, but when they did, Lilly was already happily asleep in her mysterious boyfriend's arms.

As she sneaked through the living-room, she saw a man's booted feet sticking out from the sofa. She could hear his soft snores, but only the top of his head was visible from where she stood. But that was enough to tell her that he was the short-haired one. Dean. One of the Winchester brothers, Hugh had told her.

They only had one spare bedroom, here. With one large bed in it. That, plus the sofa – and one old mattress stored away in one of their cupboards. That, theoretically, meant room for three. If Dean was here… maybe the women shared the bed? Or Sam, with one of them? In their line of work, were "colleagues" allowed to have relationships with one another?

The stairs helped Lilly out, and made no sound to betray her as she tiptoed down to the entrance, and through the front door. As soon as the young woman stepped outside, she let out a happy sigh as the reasonably cool air greeted her. When the sun wasn't quite up yet, the oppressing heat of the late summer backed away for a while, and those who left the shade of their homes could breathe a little.

"Hey."

It took Lilly a few seconds to understand that the guarded, but friendly nonetheless, voice was talking to her. She blinked in surprise, and turned towards the man who had called out to her.

Sam.

"Hey," she squeaked timidly.

He flashed a dimpled smile at her. Relaxing a little, Lilly walked up to him, and mimicked his position by casually leaning against the wall.

"Sorry about yesterday," Sam said immediately.

"Yesterday?"

"Shae's behavior," he specified.

Shae. The dark brunette. "She seemed… aggressive."

"You could say that… she left the team. You won't have to deal with her wrecking your place in a fit of anger…"

Lilly couldn't help feeling relieved. The strange woman wasn't staying. That information brightened Lilly's mood even more than the sudden fresh breeze which ran through her long, tangled hair.

She subtly got a good look at the man next to her. Square jaw, smart eyes, silky hair that fell down to his neck, and muscles that showed under his thin tee-shirt…

"Do you always wake up so early?" Sam asked.

She cleared her throat, interrupted in the middle of what was definitely not staring.

"I could ask you the same question."

He chuckled. "Yes, I do. At my brother's despair."

"Yeah, me too. I used to drive my sister mad. Pillow in the face at five in the morning."

She winked maliciously, he laughed once more.

"I have to admit, I never dared to do that. I value my life just a little too much."

"Are you the older or the younger sibling?"

"Younger."

"Hey, me too!"

They jokingly shook hands.

"You still live with your brother?" she went on.

"I guess you could say that." He paused for a moment, as if pondering what he could tell her. Lilly wasn't actually fishing for information, but she wouldn't mind if he let some slip. "Hugh probably told you," Sam said cautiously, "but my brother and I, we work together. "

"Yeah, he told me."

Then the rest of what Hugh had said came back to her mind, and she felt shyness coming back. Sam was easy to talk to, it hadn't taken her more than a few instants to feel comfortable. But that man was a "legend", according to Hugh. A legend – why a legend? What had he done?

Well, if Sam Winchester really was a legend, he wasn't showing it off right now. No doubt he could make himself intimidating, with his size, but his attitude was nothing but casual and friendly. Although from the glimpse Lilly had gotten of Dean, the other brother was a whole other story.

"Ouch," Sam grimaced. "Seeing your face, I'm not sure I should ask what Hugh said of us."

Lilly blushed furiously. Her every thought always tended to cross her features, without waiting for her permission. Incapable of hiding her embarrassment, she blushed even more when Sam chuckled again.

"Relax," he said cheerfully, "I'm just teasing you – whatever he said, we've been called much worse."

"Actually, he said you two were legends." That silenced him for a moment. "That you were the best at… whatever it is you do."

His dimples vanished. His eyes got lost somewhere on the other side of the street. Lilly looked in the same direction, trying to find something interesting there. She spotted nothing but a shabby cat, running to hide under a car with flat tires. Then, she noticed the Winchesters' Chevy Impala, parked a little further, in all of its dark glory. Lilly didn't know much about cars, but her father had been obsessed by them. He'd often talked about buying one of those beautiful babies, but never rounded up the money to actually do so.

When Sam spoke again, his tone was much more serious than before.

"I suppose that's true."

"That you're the best?"

"That can be both a compliment, and an insult."

She frowned, even more confused than before. "What do you mean?"

He sighed. "Being good at our job… often means being a pretty crappy human being."

A kind of vague fear suddenly made Lilly shiver. Was it the vague sadness in Sam's voice that made her believe him? Or just basic instinct? Whatever it was, she believed him. And didn't know what to make of what he'd just told her.

"Are _you_ a pretty crappy human being?"

He met her eyes again, and smiled humorlessly.

"That depends on who you ask."

"I'm asking you."

"I'm not my own biggest fan," he said softly.

Lilly didn't let the heavy silence settle in too long.

"What about your brother?"

He blinked. "Dean?"

"Yeah."

Sam's eyes brightened a little. "He's incredible, actually. He's a hero. And an awesome brother."

"Would he say the same thing about himself?"

"Probably not."

"And… what about Hugh?" she asked carefully.

"I only met him yesterday," the man told her in a more cheerful tone. "But he seems like a pretty decent guy."

"Is he good at his job?"

"I heard he's alright, yeah."

"But he's still a decent guy?"

Sam chuckled. "He's new, Lilly."

"Which means?"

"Which means he hasn't seen it all yet. This… job… it doesn't change you right away. But spend long enough in this life… you turn into a monster."

"How long have you and Dean been doing this?" Lilly asked in a small voice, not sure she really wanted an answer.

"Our whole lives," he said quietly.

A chill ran down the young woman's spine.

There was still nothing threatening in Sam's attitude – yet now Lilly was afraid. Not much, just enough to feel uncomfortable. No matter how friendly, diplomatic and good-looking that man was… if he was telling her the truth, then perhaps she really should be scared.

"Do you even like this job?"

"No," he said without a moment of hesitation.

"Then why the hell are you still doing it, if it changes you?"

"It _is_ me, now…" came the thoughtful answer. "Dean and I, we never really had a choice. We were raised into this life."

"But can't you get out, if you want to?"

"I wish," he sighed. "It's not that simple. I tried, but… once you grow up that way, you really can't get out. Once you've changed, there's no coming back."

 _Coming back from what?_

"Hugh wants to get out, though," Sam went on. "Now that he's got you."

"But didn't he call you guys to work?"

"He did. But it's his last job. He wants to get out, afterwards."

Lilly bit her lip. "Do you think that he can?"

"He just might," he said. "Be a little patient with him, and he just might be able to."

They exchanged a smile. The girl decided that no matter how dangerous the legendary Sam Winchester was, at least he had a genuine smile. Which was a good start. She might be dumb, but she kind of liked him.

Then, she heard the sound of a window opening, right above her head.

" _Bitch!_ " a low, rough voice growled.

Lilly looked up angrily, before noticing with astonishment that Sam was smiling.

"Awake, jerk?"

Dean's disheveled head stuck out of the living-room's window. Lilly understood that he hadn't been talking to her at all… there was probably an inside joke there that she couldn't get.

"I shouldn't be," the older Winchester brother complained. "Unfortunately for my beauty rest, Cas still doesn't comprehend the concept of sleep."

"Cas is here?" Sam called out, humor giving way to surprised interest in his voice.

"Yup. Get up there."

Sam flashed Lilly an apologetic smile, and rushed back inside.

… **..**

 _ **Merry Christmas, everyone!**_

 _ **Once again, please tell me if you spot any typos or other mistakes… or just leave a review to tell me what you thought about this chapter, and how you'd like this story to go! I am kind of open to suggestions since I'm sort of improvising along the way!**_


	9. Chapter 9-Kitchen knife & useless number

**Chapter nine. Kitchen knife and useless number**

 _Darkness. Everywhere. Her eyes were wide open, panicked and urgent, but no matter how hard they squinted into the nothingness, no colors could be found. Not the smallest ray of light, to chase away the fear which kept her in place._

"Wake up!"

 _She shook her head, scowling at the ringing in her ears._

"Wake up!"

 _The words were distinguishable, but she could not obey. Not yet. She knew it. She'd been here a thousand times before, had this dream countless times, but there was still no way she could find to calm the panic which always arose inside of her._

"Hey!"

 _Soon._

 _A metallic glint caught her attention. She tasted bile on her tongue, and no matter how hard she tried, couldn't move an inch, couldn't run._

 _Now, one speck of light appeared in the darkness. A speck which slowly got closer to her. She knew what it was, even before the shape got close enough to make out._

 _It was a blade. A knife. A kitchen knife._

 _A small, rational part of her brain told her she'd seen, fought and defeated much worse. But that part had no power against every cell in her body – they all screamed in unison that this knife meant death, meant loss, meant nothingness, a nothingness which would swallow up what little good there was left in her life._

 _The blade was sharp. She knew it. And as it got closer, silent and deadly, carried by a hand made invisible by the darkness, a thin streak of red became visible along its length._

 _She couldn't breathe anymore. Couldn't think clearly, couldn't do anything but watch, terrified, as a single drop of blood fell from the knife, audibly hitting the invisible floor a moment later._

 _Then a second drop followed, and a third, then the blade was entirely red, not a single inch of metallic glint anymore._

 _She could see faces, now. The faces that no one could ever see again, the faces that were gone now – faces this kitchen knife could have taken away. There was nothing she could do to bring these faces back._

 _Then the dream changed, for the first time in...a long, long time._

 _The darkness backed away slowly, giving way to a dull grey fog. A body lay, unmoving, just a few steps away._

 _She found she could finally move. She didn't really want to. It couldn't mean any good._

 _The body called to her, though. She couldn't help it, she needed to know who it was._

 _A man. He lay on his stomach, his long legs and tangled hair strangely familiar._

 _She knelt next to him, gently shook his shoulder. He didn't react. With a strange sense of dread in her heart, she took a deep breath and turned him onto his back._

 _Sam. Sam's hazel eyes, wide open and frozen in fear, looked past her, unseeing. His lips were slightly parted, a thin stream of blood oozing through them. Her eyes slid down his body, landed with horror on his stomach, where a kitchen knife stuck out, surrounded by a growing circle of red._

 _She screamed in agony, warm tears bursting out._

"Wake up, goddamn it!"

Shae opened her eyes with a sharp breath.

"Thank god," Brady sighed with obvious relief. "I've been trying to wake you up for ages, girl!"

She could do nothing more than nod distractedly. Then she winced as a major headache hit her. She could feel a well-deserved hangover coming.

Brady, sitting next to her on the bed, nervously looked around the room and cleared his throat.

"Listen," he muttered with embarrassment, "you need to leave. As in, _now_."

Shae raised her eyebrows, blinked, torn between amusement and annoyance.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, there's kind of… er, an emergency."

"Emergency?" she nodded, utterly unimpressed by the man's stuttering.

"Uh… I…"

"You?"

She sternly looked him up and down, realizing now that daylight had come, now that the fog was clearing from her brain, that Brady – or Andrew – was absolutely not her type. Red face, chubby cheeks, dull-colored hair and duller eyes. If only she'd woken up before him – now a clean exit was beyond her reach… although leaving certainly wouldn't be a problem: he definitely did not seem eager for her to stay.

"My girlfriend's gonna be here in about ten minutes," Brady admitted while desperately avoiding meeting the woman's eyes.

Not much could surprise Shae, but that confession shocked her into silence for a while.

"Your… girlfriend?" she repeated coldly.

"Yeah."

He had a girlfriend.

Shae was in no way jealous. She actually vaguely pitied the poor girl. Poor girl with a poor taste in men.

She was not jealous, but she _was_ mad. As a principle, she hated cheaters. She did _not_ sleep with men who were already taken. She didn't have much morals, but she did keep a bare minimum.

Shae slid further away from Andrew – Brady, whatever – and wrapped the closest sheet tightly over her naked chest. She shot the man facing her a glare so deadly, it was probably a good thing that he was still staring at the faded tapestry.

"You certainly did not mention that yesterday," Shae hissed, not even trying to keep the accusation out of her voice.

"You didn't ask," he mumbled.

She narrowed her eyes, closed her fists in an effort to keep them next to her body.

"If you're a cheating asshole," she snapped with perfect honesty, "great for you. But I don't want any part in it!"

He scoffed and looked up at her, clearly angry too.

"That's a good one," he said bitterly. "I can't cheat, but you can?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" she cried out.

He chuckled darkly. "Takes one to know one, darling. You came to that bar to get away from someone, right? To forget? You couldn't have been more obvious if you'd walked around with a neon sign. You felt guilty."

As Shae gaped at him, wide-eyed and at a complete loss for words, he went on, every word heavy with silence.

"Remember what we did last night?"

Shae shrugged. She could pretty well piece it together, but actually didn't remember much. Just that it really hadn't felt as good as she'd hoped. She could recall clumsy movements, rushed and uncomfortable in a drunken haze.

"You don't remember, huh?"

"Which part?"

"You called out a name. It wasn't mine."

"No surprise here," she mocked, hiding a slight twinge of worry, "I don't even remember your name. Brady?"

"Brandon."

"Same difference. What did I say?"

"What do I care?" He rolled his eyes. "I think it was 'Sam'."

"Shit," she growled, slumping back on the mattress, suddenly desperate for a bottle of whisky.

"So, still sure you're better than me? Who's that guy if you're not cheating on him? Your ex? Your crush? Gotta say, none of those options are very flattering for you..."

"Fuck off, Andrew."

Brandon sighed, exasperated and urgent. "Leave. Now. Or I'll throw you out myself."

"I'd love to see you try that," she laughed loudly.

Still, Shae threw the blankets off of her and got up rigidly. She didn't care if she was naked, Brandon had already seen it all.

She quickly dug around for her clothes, scattered around the bed, and pulled them on.

"Good to go," she said once she was done.

"Great."

They didn't exchange a single word as he walked her to the door of his shabby apartment.

"I trust you'll find your way back?" he said in faked politeness.

"I will," she answered in the same way.

Even the sight of Brandon made her feel vaguely sick, now. He'd been a mistake. But she was good at making mistakes.

On her way out of the building, Shae crossed paths with a chubby, but cute, blonde girl. They exchanged a polite nod, and a moment later it occurred to the huntress that this was probably the girl Brandon had just cheated on. How often had he even done this? How had she not guessed? She felt a shame stronger than she ever had, stronger than she ever could've imagined feeling, inside of her.

Once outside, the huntress all but collapsed against the wall, burying her face in her hands and bitterly thinking of how fucked-up she was.

Almost worse than the knowledge that her one-night-stand was a cheating scumbag, was what she'd just learned.

Shae couldn't believe herself. She really was pathetic. Brandon couldn't have invented Sam's name. So she'd really called out for him while having sex with someone else. That was… that was beyond pathetic. She'd hit pretty low spots, but that was beyond low. She was far, far underground – she'd soon come out the other side of the Earth.

Maybe it was time to face the facts: so far, trying to get Sam out of her head wasn't working very well. That stupid giant teddy bear had gotten to her somehow. That never happened. She didn't want to dwell on why, on how, on – whatever. But the fact was that so far she wasn't getting any closer to forgetting. In fact, every step she took made her feel more like shit.

Sometimes, Shae wished she was one of those monsters she killed. Things had to be so simple for them. Damned human feelings. Always in the way, always so hard to get rid of, or even just ignore…

What was she supposed to do now? Definitely NOT go back to Hugh's place. She did have her pride, and at least a little bit of common sense. She would keep doing what she did best. Drink, hook up, drive, hunt. Kill. And die, one of these days.

However, despite her efforts, her mind kept going back to how pathetic she was. But, most importantly, to the nightmare Brandon had woken her from.

It all came back to her now.

She'd had this dream so many times she'd lost count. Or others, along the same lines. That damned kitchen knife showed up every single time. The rest didn't matter that much. Shae was always alone, and nothing much ever happened, except from blood dripping from the sharp blade. It was simple, it was a habit – and it was terrifying every single time. Usually she'd wake up screaming, and wait for the panic to back away. When Kira shared a room with her, things were more complicated. But Kira knew enough to leave Shae alone in those times.

This night, something had changed, though. And Shae didn't understand it. She didn't handle change very well. In her experience, it rarely brought anything good.

When there w _as_ someone with her in her nightmares, the figure was always blurry. She never could recognize anyone. Never, until this night, had she seen someone she knew. Well, not for the past five years anyways.

That wasn't good. Because when Shae searched for a reason, she could only come up with one, and she did not like it, not one bit.

What she remembered the most clearly was the scariest part: the panic, the despair that had ripped through her, tearing her apart, when she found Sam Winchester dead… she hadn't felt anything like it in such a long time. She never wanted to feel this way ever again. The whole point of pushing people away, was to avoid such devastating grief when she lost them. Because a hunter inevitably lost the people he was dumb enough to let himself care about – it was just the way things worked.

Reason didn't help Shae now, though. An oppressive angst still lingered, longing for proof that Sam was alright, for the sound of his voice, for the sight of his dimples.

She did care about him. A lot more than was reasonable. It was terrifying, how attached she'd grown in such a short period of time. How could it be her fault, really? The man was impossible not to like, when he tried. Fine, she cared. It would fade, with time. It had to.

There was only one reason Shae could find for Sam showing up in her nightmare.

So far, she hadn't imagined the knife stealing away anyone from her, because she really didn't have anyone left to lose. No one she cared enough about for their loss to destroy her.

It seemed like now, she did have someone. No matter how much she pushed him away.

Never mind. She'd get over it. Enough time away from Sam, enough alcohol, hunts and one-night-stands, and she'd be good as new. The day he would get killed, she probably wouldn't even hear about it, and it was better that way.

Now, though… now, she was just too worn out to resist.

She needed to hear his voice. Just to know her nightmare had been nothing more than that. Of course Sam would get killed one day, sooner rather than later – but it really didn't need to be so soon.

Shae dug around the handbag she'd somehow managed not to lose throughout her strange evening, and took out her cell phone with clumsy fingers. She scrolled through the numbers until she found Sam's.

It had been sitting here for over six months now. He'd given it to her after they first met. She hadn't found it necessary to tell him it was useless – she was never going to call him. He'd looked so cute in that moment, telling her to call if she ever had some more time to kill… it had been tempting, undeniably. But Shae usually knew how to resist temptation.

Sam picked up almost immediately.

"Yes?"

She exhaled slowly, relief flooding through her just from that one word. She didn't even know what she'd been afraid of.

"Hello?"

She bit her lip to keep from answering. He couldn't know it was her, anyway.

"Er… Shae? Is that… is that you?"

Her eyes widened. How the hell did he guess? Shit.

She hung up hastily, and finally walked away from the building she'd still been leaning against.

… _ **..**_

 _ **Hey there!**_

 _ **So now I'm starting to dig a little deeper into Shae's character, her background, I hope y'all like it. Of course we'll get more answers later…**_

 _ **Pleeease leave a little review to tell me what you think! I'm starting to feel a tiny bit lonely, here! ;)**_

 _ **Anyways, peace and love, thanks for reading and see you next chapter!...**_


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